Working Through Defeat

I am defeated today. I am depressed and down and sort of feel like the entire world has just kicked my ass royally. I STILL do not have anything from the court about my family law situation, I sit back and watch every other single mother I know being able to afford a new house, new car, keep bills paid and live off of their pay with the help of their support. I am listening to my friend talk about how they are now buying a motor home when that has been my dream for years to be able to take my girls on a vacation. I feel like I cannot get ahead. My roof is leaking and we are in the beginning of hurricane season and I rent and the owner of my home won't make a damn decision to get the freaking roof replaced. Meanwhile, he is raising my rent by $250 and I have black mold in my bedroom ceiling and allergy induced asthma. PLUS, I have been paying $350-$400 per month in electric bills bc it took him over a year to get the freaking AC unit upgraded to an energy efficient unit from THIS CENTURY. I don't want a lot of money. I don't want to "get rich". I just want to make my beautiful art and make enough to pay bills (and I only need about $2000 per month) and maybe be able to take a vacation once every three to five years with my two girls. I just want to sit and cry for a while. I wish I had somebody to actually read this blog who could give me some advice. Help. Oh yea, my teenaged daughter totally ignores and hates me right now and won't even acknowledge my existence. I think I am having a nervous breakdown. Crap. Crying now and can't keep typing. Hope to be better by tomorrow...